Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
