Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
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