I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
