I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
