bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
40s are totally the cure
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
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