that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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