My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
