You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
Where is the hickey?
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
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