I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
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