so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
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