is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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