Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
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