Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
My pussy is not your playground.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
