I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
