her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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