In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
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