Your tits are I can't wait for
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
