Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
