The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Randomize
