Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
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