Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Randomize
