trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Randomize
