...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
