Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Randomize
