i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
