The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
