can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
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