so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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