I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Randomize
