So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Randomize