Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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