ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
