No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
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