omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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