JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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