I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
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