he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
