I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
