Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
No I am not eating basil off your cock
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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