I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Randomize
