porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
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