Just made out with a pet sitter. His biz card says "even hamsters". Lowest point in my life.
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
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