I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
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