im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
Randomize
