I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
