I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize
