Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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