I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
it's great music for shaving your balls
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
