I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
you made out with another girl for some wings
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
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