There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Randomize
