You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
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