Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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